Learning...

This is a slightly hodge-podge post, but one thing ties it together: I learned all three of these things yesterday, in very different ways.

1) This is something I've been in the process of learning for the last year, but yesterday I had an epiphany that allowed me to state it succinctly. This is I think one of the most important things I've learned in college so far.

When you're having a theological discussion with the goal of converting the other person to your side, you'll never convert the person. You'll merely cause tension and discord. However, when you move past the need to win an argument, it frees you to have real, fulfilling theological discussions, and only in those real discussions, when you're talking as friends and not as opponents, will you ever be able to convince someone of the truth of your own views. To state this succinctly:

You'll never win a theological argument until you aren't seeking to win a theological argument.

2) I tried out for chamber choir this weekend, but I didn't get in. I was disappointed, but I had been preparing myself for it and it did not shock me. I had left it in God's hands, I felt that my audition was good, and it was up to God. However, what I wasn't expecting was to be approached only a few hours after I found out that I was not in chamber choir to be asked to join an acappella quartet with three of my friends who are amazingly musically talented. If I had made chamber choir, I would have been forced to turn them down because of the demands on my schedule, but with my schedule freed up, I was able to accept something that I had been desiring for a long time. What lesson did I learn from this?

God often denies us one thing so he can give us something else.

This is something I have to keep learning, and it's always good to see a fresh example.

3) A bunch of guys in our dorm are watching through Band of Brothers this weekend (taking advantage of Labor Day), and we watched Part 3 last night. This particular episode contains what is probably my favorite moment from the entire series:

Pvt. Blithe is scared of fighting, and every time he finds himself in a combat situation he freezes up or hides. Easy Company is ambushed near the end of the episode and ends up in foxholes along a hedge, watching the Germans holed up in another hedge a few hundred yards away. Blithe is petrified, and he ends up in a conversation with Lt. Spears. Blithe confesses to Spears that when he landed on D-Day, he hid in a ditch instead of trying to find his unit to fight.

Spears: You know why you hid in that ditch, Blithe?
Blithe: 'Cause I was scared.
Spears: We're all scared. You hid in that ditch because you think there's still hope. But Blithe, the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier's supposed to function.

From what I can tell as a civilian, this is the best description of a soldier's mindset. Only when you aren't worried about dying can you function as a soldier, and the only way not to worry about dying is to be already dead. In broader terms, you can only function when you give yourself up to God and accept that whatever happens will happen, and you can't control it at all. This is something I've used several times to counsel my friends, and I've found it such a helpful reminder of the necessity of relying on God.

Senior Challenge

This is the challenge I delivered last Saturday night. I passed out right after I talked about the ice storms. Apparently somebody got it on tape, and if they did I'll try and get it on YouTube and post it here.

I was saved at the beginning of middle school, and really got serious about God as I moved into high school. In the fall of my senior year I auditioned for Godspell. Little did I know what a major impact that show would have on my life. To start with, I didn’t get the role I had wanted and ended up as an understudy, which left me disappointed. I was having trouble relating to a lot of the people in the cast, even though I was good friends with many of them. It began to take over my schedule so much that I was forced to back out of other activities I had been interested in. It was difficult for me at first, but my parents kept bringing me back to Scripture and helping me see that God works everything out for my good, even when I can’t understand how.

Godspell progressed, and it seemed as if I had everything figured out and under control. But God had different plans for the show. Production week rolled around, and suddenly everything went wrong at once. We had rehearsals shortened or cancelled due to storms and ice. Members of the cast began getting sick left and right until we were forced to do the dress rehearsal with four understudies out of a main cast of 13. I was one of those understudies, and I ended up performing in the role of John the Baptist for most of the week, including opening night!

I am so thankful for the leadership of our director, Cathy Mays. Every time something went wrong, her first response was always, “God is in control, and he knows what he’s doing. Praise the Lord!” She kept the entire cast focused on God during a time when our natural reaction would have been anxiety and panic. And the amazing thing was, as we focused on God and trusted that he was in control, he always managed to work things out for the best.

Godspell is over now, and I’m moving into a new season of life, but I feel that this past year, and my experiences in Godspell specifically, have prepared me well by teaching me that God is always good, no matter what. A life of ease doesn’t help me to grow, but trials and sufferings do. God gives me trials and sufferings to sanctify me and to make me more like Jesus. So whatever happens to me in college and further on in life, I can trust that God is working it all out for my good, for as Romans 8:28 says, “in all things God works for the good of those who love him.”

I’m not the only one who has or will encounter trials. Every one of you will face trials, and many of them will be much, much more severe than what I’ve just described here. If you don’t truly believe that God is good, worry and anxiety will take over your life. Instead of standing strong and glorifying God in the trial, you will not be able to stand. I once read an article by a pastor named Dan Phillips, and he said something very helpful: Christian friend, if you are going to believe what you say you believe, then there are only two kinds of situations: situations in which you will see God's goodness immediately, or situations in which you will see God's goodness eventually.

And that is why I, Sam Branchaw, challenge you, the youth of Covenant Life Church, to trust God with all your heart, because he works all things out for the good of those who love him.

How to Pass Out In Front of 800 People

So that everybody knows, last night I almost passed out during our youth meeting. Here's what happened:

I was giving my senior challenge at our church's youth meeting (a short speech that a bunch of the seniors give at the end of the year to the underclassmen to pass on what they've learned throughout high school and exhort them to grow in some way). Mine was about trusting God even when things don't go the way you expect. I was the last person to give mine, and spent the time coming up to it crouching on the stage. When I finally stood up to give it, I started feeling nauseous, like I had stage fright. I don't normally get stage fright, but I kept on reading anyways.

As I read, I began to feel really, really sick, and suddenly I got really dizzy. I stopped (some people thought at first I was going to cry), and then stepped out from behind the podium and asked for a drink of water. As I asked, the blood rushed to my head and I staggered backwards as the world around me almost went black. My youth pastor told everyone to take a five minute break (which they were going to do after I finished anyway). A doctor rushed out of the audience, told me to put my head between my knees, but then I began feeling like I was going to throw up and they rushed me backstage to the bathroom. By the time I sat down, I was starting to feel fine, but I had at least six different doctors, three pastors, and my parents all peering in at me to make sure I was all right.

One of the doctor's called it fazo vagel or something like that, and said it happens when you stand up too fast. I think it was that combined with not enough water during the day. After resting for a little while, I was able to get up and finish my senior challenge, and I'll admit I was very happy with myself because when I got up there, I cracked a joke, and it was actually funny. I just said, "First of all, I'd like to thank the eight different doctors who came back to help me backstage. Your help was very much appreciated." It helped relieve the tension, and then I was able to finish the challenge. (I'm not normally able to be funny on the spot, so it felt good to do that.)

I found it very ironic that I would pass out during my challenge about trusting God even when things don't go as you expect. God is good, though, because I think it will stick in people's minds more than it otherwise would have. I'll post my actual challenge here in a few days. Until then, thanks to everyone who was there for your concern, and for everyone else: God is always good.

A Chronicle of God's Grace

Well, I have to say that my "sabbatical" was a very good idea. I'll probably be picking back up again this week since our rehearsal schedule is a lot lighter, but I thought I would direct those who are interested to a post I wrote on my Xanga about my experiences during production week for Godspell. I make it a point to try and avoid lots of personal details on this blog, at least when it comes to names, places, and specific events in my life, because there are a lot of people who read this who don't know any of those names, places, or specific events, and nobody wants to read the diary of someone they don't know personally. However, I have learned so much about God's grace this week that I just had to pass it on to the world at large. I'm going to excerpt the most important parts here:

Throughout the week, as everything was going wrong with the weather, rehearsal plans, and sickness, as we were losing cast members left and right and performing with a third of the cast as understudies, we all were constantly being reminded to trust in God. What became my theme verse for the week was a verse that Anna had read during prayer on Saturday morning:

You keep him in perfect peace
Whose mind is stayed on you,
Because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3)

I had to keep my mind stayed on God the whole week, and so did everyone else. All of us had periods of discouragement, but God was so good to keep bringing us back to him, and we were drawn together as a cast through the trials. It was marvelous to see how God worked...

The amazing thing is how God's grace has been manifested in the peace he gave all of us this week, through all the problems and setbacks and sicknesses. Mrs. Mays can be commended for always keeping our eyes focused on God's grace and providence whenever things went wrong, setting the right tone for the whole week. I am amazed at the grace God gave those people who are sick and those people subbing in for them. He has helped everyone, even the understudies, perform at an incredibly high level, and most importantly to proclaim the gospel to over 2000 people. I am just so amazed at how God works through adversity to bring us closer to him.

God is so good :)

(Props to Kate Price for the photos)